Surreal

25th Jan 2009- It was a wonderful day that was full of surprises. I was supposed to take a flight home via jetstar in the evening and unexpectedly my msn window popped out and it was him. A guy that i fell in love 3 years ago in Sydney and we ended our relationship 2 years ago. I have not seen him in msn since then because i believed that he had blocked me. I was really excited to chat with him again...and the first question he asked me was do i have a boyfriend. He left his phone number to me before i left to the airport.

26th Jan 2009- He sms-ed me in the evening. I didnt expect that he will contact me and of coz i was nervous and kind of excited. After pretending to ask each other some silly questions he finally drove to my house. before reaching to my house he called me and i picked up with my heart pounded fast. "hey where is ur usj4?" i will forever remember this moment. his voice that i have not heard for 2 years. do you know how much i miss you? i wanna tell him but i know i cant tell him this... i love u i love u i love u dear where have u been in these 2 yearS???

When i jumped into his car, yes, is that scent. regretfully i didnt pay much attention on him in the past and now only i found out that he is using hugo boss. hugo boss? i didnt know about branded stuffs back then so he must be thinking that im such an idiot no wonder he doesnt like me. we are from different family background and he is well exposed to many many things which i cant even cope into them.

We went for starbucks. I had my usual green tea frapuccino and he had java chip. after that he brought me for drive-by, showing me houses he loves in bangsar. It was first time for me. he is so matured yet cute now. i like that in him. do i deserve him?

He asked me what i want coz he felt guity of using me and left me alone back then...... didnt he forget everything? i am just nothing to him...i worth not a single cent. he hugged me when i start sobbing. i love his hug, holding hands with him, his kisses.... dear, im really sad to lost you, i have been missing you for these years, i miss your accompaniment, i know i cant be your gf, i dont deserve your love and care, i cant forget you ....how i am gonna live without you?