I have Tried

It had been 8 months. Do you really care about me? I need constant love and care. Is it so hard to give me some flowers? How i wish i could be the one you thought of when you wake up in the morning.

Cars And Certificates

Just went to Expo for automobiles exhibition. The place is crowded but very dissappointing because the nicest car i could find was MAZda RX8 only man :(

Sadly i board a train home straight. ok enough of sad stuffs i have something else to say.



After years of torturing myself in university, this is what i eventually got in return. This is my dad's greatest ever investement which generates negative return. Dad is a risk adverse investor but he had thrown out over a hundred thousands for me simply because he just loves me unconditionally.

For cost saving purpose, i did a twinning program with Taylor's College and went to Sydney to get my final year completed. As soon as i completed by under-grad, i felt like, yes i felt like taking masters to apply for a permanet residency in Australia thus i asked for dad's permission. Both two semesters in under-grad costed like AUD 18,000 and another two semesters for AUD 20,000.

Education is extremely commercialised worldwide, except some countries still provide free education to foreigners like France or Germany if i am not mistaken. If time could reverse, i might choose a cheapskate university to study instead. Anyway if i try to think optimistically, i am very grateful that i have a chance to live in Sydney for a freaking 2 years to gain some life experiences, going through a very poor life-style stocking instant noodles that i never feel that delicious before. I learned how to cook simple dishes such as soup noodles, porridge to fill my tummy. I learned to only spend $5 per week on fruits, veges, meat and groceries. I learned how to steal breads from my workplace and stored them in my fridge for breakfast. I am so stingy afterall.

I am here

Finally, i decided to re-visit my blog again after months. Time flies and now i am working full-time in Singapore. My blog brought me back to year 2006 and i realised that kind of unique feeling when i look back to my past. Too much memories, sweet but sad at the same time, all pilling up again in my mind. I found something that i totally forgotten from my blog, which i dont wish to recall anymore. Blogspot is lagging most of the time, not to mention of posting pictures again. I have no mood to take pictures anymore. I dont have sufficient time after work to think about what to blog and slowly uploading pics. sigh. From Malaysia--Australia---Singapore, where will be my next stop? What do i need to pursue next? Priority, what a big word.

Ambiguity

Relief

:: Someone never help me to take pictures even though I begged and nagged and haunted him continuously. Ok I know it doesnt work at all anyway. Therefore I decide not to post up pictures as a protest. That night was so special. Amazingly, someone sang to me on the phone, with some sort of cute guitar as the accompaniment. It was so sweet I really love it! Nice songs with cool guitar accompaniment but yet need to be improved to avoid plucking wrong notes :P Nevermind it is still awesome, in my heart, At LEAST, ok ? The truth is I rated it 100 times more perfect than a professional orchestra concert.

Final exams were over. I am officially a graduate! The day I dreamed for my whole life eventually arrived. No more assigments, no more deadlines, no more homeworks, no more presentations and no more exams will ever haunt me again. It was not easy to have 3 bloody final exams in 24 hours and you could imagine how I suffered throughout the night by burning mid-night oil first time ever in my whole life! Needless to say, I need to pass with flying colours as to reward myself by pouring susbtantial amount of efforts and patience to revise those craps.

This marks the begin of my new life. And so i realised time had drifted away rapidly without realising it.

One year ago, I left my college in subang to this piece of foreign land. Just like Piggy bumped into the Wonderland. Seriously, I hate to pay more for studies and work more here. Somehow i need to grow up. I need to be worried about money. I need to be more mature than other Malaysian kids. Malaysian kids are too lucky because they dont need to work before graduation. They have wealthy parents who are generous enough to suppot them and fulfill their wishes and serve them as a pincess and prince.

I am extraordinary. From the very beginning, my parents forced me to work at the age of 15, which minority of the kids would start their working life so early. At a sudden i felt the world is so unfair to me, and the thing is they never do that to my brother. They said my brother needed to study hard in his engineering course. What about me ? That is nothing big deal about me. I am just a typical girl. From the time onwards I knew I was unwelcomed.

Things seemed to be running quite smoothly when I got my 2nd job. Fortunate to have a high pay part time job within my interest. My bosses loved me, and so did my clients. I had free shoes, clothes and accessories from them whenever they knew I loved those stuffs very very much and felt hard to let them go. Sometimes I think working actually benefits me a lot. Gradually, I accepted the truth = I Must WORK.

I had done a BIG mistake until i couldnt never forgive myself. I have a weakness. Due to the fact that I am very naive to believe in fairy tales' ending, bloody bullshits (eg Snow White and the Prince/ Beauty and the Beast lived happily ever after). I never grow up even I am independent. Indeed I hate to be independent. That's why I lost everything, from efforts to money because I trusted someone unconditionally. Everything done was in vain. Should I blame the fairy tales, or myself ? That was the cruellest lesson, perhaps, a punishment that turned my whole life down, to the very extreme. Darkness, loneliness, helpless, depression surrounding me, day after day. Tears rolling out of my eyes every night ever since, the stars played the role to comfort me during the night.

My dilemma arised when life comes to the point when two diverge paths appeared right in front of me but too bad I couldnt travel both. Either go to Sydney to forget everything, or stay in KL to remember everything. I wanna know how far I could strech. Considering the pros and cons, I wanna forget the past, definitely.

May Yan posted those pictures online. Study in Subang has lots of advantages. There are my cool college clan. The most hardworking people i ever met in college. We never have problems working together in a group when it comes to assignments. We can have discussions until everyone met an agreed point.

This was their last day in college. Obviously, there are acting to be damn busy working on the assignments. This brilliant team had scored the highest in their IFM assignment 12.8/15. They are so funny hahaha. Those are good old days they will miss forever in their life.

From left: Dennis (the intelligent group leader), Siam Kiao, May Yan, Li Cin and her handsome bf, Chin Loong. Look at that two guys acted so hilariously talking on the phone clarifying their assignment-related stuffs.

• Wish them luck !!!